Two years ago Poppy your Mommy was in hospital doing her very best to hold on to you. She was 28 weeks pregnant when her waters broke and had to rush to hospital in the middle of the night.
As a mother and prospective grandmother it was a frightening time, wondering if my beautiful daughter would be able to hold on to the precious life inside her. The circumstances were so tragic, your twin sister Emily had already lost her fight for life, we could not bear to think you could also be lost to us.
We visited every day, your Mommy was still loosing her waters all the time, though it was building up a little at the same time, so all the fluid around you did not disappear completely. Your little limbs could be seen through the walls of your Mommys tummy and she was afraid to move incase she bumped or bruised you. Your Mommy kept having scans and other tests, trying to determine that you were okay in there. The consultant said he wanted to try and get your Mommy to 32 weeks gestation, to give you the best chance. We told her to keep her legs crossed.
Your Mommy spent over 2 weeks in hospital, carefully nurturing you, hoping that you would grow big enough, and strong enough, to be born safely. She was given medication to make your lungs strong, incase you were born early, so that you would be able to breath. Those 2 weeks and a few days, were the longest 2 weeks and days you can imagine. We woke up each morning and wondered if you were still waiting to be born, if your Mommy was still bearing up under the incredible strain she was facing. Your Daddy must have gone through hell, wondering how things would turn out, if his wife and daughter would be okay.
On the morning of the 29th July your Mommy rang early and said she would be having the baby that day. She had a show of blood, which could indicate infection, and the consultant was willing to wait no longer. He wanted you out safely and said that your birth would take place that day. They gave your Mommy medication and she went into labour as she wanted to experience natural childbirth, but after a few hours it became necessary to perform a C section to ensure your safety.
You were born, Poppy, on the 29th of July, weighing just 3 pounds 4 ounces. Thank God you cried as soon as you were born, which meant you had taken a breath. Your Mommy and Daddy were able to see you for just a second before you were whipped away to the neonatal unit for specialist care. Emily had been born first, and she was born sleeping as we knew she would be, the nurses took care of her with compassion and love. She was wrapped in a little blanket and cared for. Your identical twin sister.
Your Daddy let us know just after 4pm that you were safely born, that you had breathed, you had cried, and that your Mommy was okay. We cried when we got the news, we were grandparents! I had been through agonies, knowing what my daughter was going through, I could not bear to think of her in pain. The day had been very long, and full of angst.
We felt joyous that you had arrived safely though apprehensive that you were so small, and wondered what ordeal you and your parents would face before you would be allowed home.
The first time we saw you Poppy was so emotional, I went in with your Mommy, she was in a wheelchair and in a lot of pain, you were lying in an incubator. So so tiny, I could hardly believe it. The lights in the unit were dimmed as the eyes of premature babies are very sensitive to light and they had to protect you. There was a cover on the top of the incubator to further darken your world a little. Port holes were at the side, with little doors, so that we could put our hands in and touch you. We had to scrub our hands and put on a plastic apron before we were allowed anywhere near to you. We could not hold you, you needed to be in the warmth of your incubator. Your skin was translucent, the veins clearly visible. You wore only a nappy, you were hooked up to a monitor which emitted sounds and beeps, pads adhered to your chest and a plastic cup held your foot, the lead also went to the monitor. The nurse tried to explain the noises and numbers we could see, it was too much to take in.
We took it in turns to visit you, only 2 at a time around your incubator. Only parents and grandparents allowed into the unit. Emma desperately wanted her brother to see his niece, but he was not allowed in Poppy.
You were in the neonatal unit for 4 weeks before being transfered downstairs to the special baby care unit. You had jaundice in the time you were in neonatal and had to go under a infrared lamp with goggles way too big for you. The monitor would show that you were barely breathing at times, and you would have to flick your feet to remind you. All that time you were fed breast milk through a tube which went down your nose and into your stomach, tiny amounts at a time, hourly, then two hourly, then three hourly. You started off with one syringe of milk and it gradually increased until your were having 2 large ones. Your nappies were so tiny they would have only fit a doll, and a small one at that, yet they were enormous on you, coming up to your chest. Your Mommy said she would breath a sigh of relief when she arrived at the hospital each day and saw that you were still hanging on in there, fighting. It was terrible for her when she was discharged and had to leave you there, in the care of others. She could not drive for 6 weeks after her operation, so we had a rota going to make sure she was with you as much as possible. She was there from morning until night, she did not want to leave at all.
At 4 weeks old you were finally in a cot down in the special baby care unit, in preparation for going home. Mommy tried her hardest to breast feed you, you had been having her milk from birth, expressed each day for you, but it was not something that was easy to do. You did not latch on, and Mommy decided the best thing would be to try you with a bottle of her own milk instead. You never looked back, as soon as the bottle was offered to you, you took it. You began to put on more weight. At 6 weeks of age you were finally deemed fit to go home, they seemed 6 long long weeks at the time, though in the course of a life time it was not so much. You were not quite 5 pounds by the time you left the hospital, still tiny by anyones standards, and not even as big as some full term new borns. It was a scary prospect to have such a responsibility to look after such a little fragile person such as yourself Poppy but at the same time it was such a joyous occasion when you finally went home.
And now you are almost 2 years old, I can hardly believe it! You were born 10 weeks early, you were so tiny, and now you have not only caught up with your premature age, but you have surpassed all the expectations we would have of you at this age. You chatter away like a child much older, you smile all the time, you sing, Poppy you are a joy. From such a difficult start you are a beautiful, wonderful little girl. God bless you Poppy, we are looking forward to celebrating your 2nd birthday with you soon. xxx
All my love, Grandma. xxx
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